Episode 66 | How to set yourself up for the best year ever!

Before we launch into these show notes, it is important to address those of you who may be in difficult places in your life. There are seasons where life throws us a curve ball. You may be dealing with family issues, sickness, job loss, divorce, addictions or other issues that make getting out of bed each day a stretch goal. If you find yourself in that situation, go easy on yourself! We'll be talking to you in January when we tackle self-care. The best thing you can do is take the pressure off. One suggestion is to listen to Episode 39,  our interview with Courtney Carver where she tells her story and how she got her life back when life threw her a major challenge.

For the rest of our #lifereframers:

Do you resist plannng? Do you cringe when people talk about 'five year plans'? We get that - we don't like planning that far out either! We want you to condense your planning into six months to a year.

If you resist planning, you'll want to listen as we address these issues:

  • *It’s too rigid / I don’t want to get boxed in
  • It’s not fun
  • I don’t think strategically
  • I’m not creative
  • I don’t have goals / vision / dreams
  • I don’t have time
  • I don’t have the skills to do what I want to do
  • I don’t have the support I need to get to where I want to go

Now that we have overcome all your resistance to planning, we want to help you take the next step! We have two resources available for you to help you plan for the best year ever. You can download the Balance Wheel and guide to Getting Shit Done here.

And don't forget we have individual resources as well!

Check out Sandy's goal course here and Jo-Anne's values handout and more are available at her website here.

We are coming up to the Christmas break. We have one more episode next week to continue this conversation on how to have your best year ever. We look forward to enjoying a slower pace for a few weeks and we can't wait to share what we have planned for the new year! Keep reframing,

Episode 65 | Five plus one ways to end well

Every beginning is a consequence. Every beginning ends something.

- Paul Valery

In order to really change your life, to Reframe Your Life, you are going to need to let go of something. You can’t do the same thing and expect different results. It is the definition of insanity to think life works that way. On our current episode, available now, we talk about some areas where you may have to let go or end things in order to move into what you really want. We know from experience this journey isn’t going to be easy!

William Bridges, in his landmark book on Transitions talks about how when we enter into transition the first step is ending. He says, “The starting point for dealing with transition is not the outcome but the ending that you will have to leave the old situation behind. Situational change hinges on the new thing, but psychological transition depends on on letting go of the old reality and the old identity you had before the change took place.

Here are the five areas we explore in this episode that you will need to end to move forward in your life.

1. Approval: Your need for approval needs to end. When you make a big change in your life there will be doubters, naysayers, and people who don't think you should make the change. People might question your sanity - especially if you are going against the status quo.

2. People that don’t support you: Beyond their approval, you might have people who try to sabotage your change. You may find that you no longer fit with certain people as you change. We often use the quote, "My how you've changed since I've changed." It speaks to this challenge of no longer fitting with people. Your changes will make other people uncomfortable. We get this when we talk about addictions. People who have decided to quit smoking or drinking may not be comfortable hanging out with the group that supported those habits. But this happens in other areas of our life as well. You may find yourself wondering what you ever had in common with someone. It can be tough to move on but you need to make a decsion if a relationship is holding you back.

3. Circumstances: Is there a circumstance that is holding you back? You can't have it all. If you want to travel for 4 months out of the year that may get in the way of building a business or taking a course. You need to assess your reality - is there a circumstance holding you back or a perceived circumstance?

4. Beliefs/Mindsets: What is your belief about ending a new situation? What is holding you back? Do you have questions like, "who am I to do this?" Get clear on why you want to end something. Assess your beliefs and mindsets when ending or beginning something. What are you telling yourself about this change?

5. Behaviours/Habits: You can’t watch Netflix all day! Maybe, like Jo-Anne, you need to end spending a lot of time at the gym doing weights so you can create space for something else - like yoga. Listen to the episode for more details on changing habits to create space for the things you want.

Plus one:

1. Celebrate:  Don't forget to celebrate those victories around endings! You are working hard to live and lead your best life. This stuff isn't easy. Be intentional about celebrating those victories!

As we approach the final month of the year, we want you to think about Reframing 2018. We'll be continuing this conversation over the next two weeks. Start thinking about what you need to end to create space for what you want next year.

Episode 64 | Move from being a Victim to being a Creator in Life

Drama is all around us. We live in a world that feeds on it. Try and think of a day when you got together with friends and no one had an interpersonal drama to talk about. It is ubiquitous. What about a day at work that didn’t involve drama with another person. Have you had one of those?

What if we told you there are three questions you could ask yourself to be well on your way to transforming your relationships? What if these questions helped you save time and energy away from drama? How would that be for a life reframe?

You are in luck! Jo-Anne is certified to deliver 3 Vital Questions - The Empowerment Dynamic (TED). A program that brings back vitality and effectiveness to your relationships. You may be familiar with the well known drama triangle. It’s where we get stuck in roles that don’t resolve the issues but perpetuate them. If you’re not, these roles are centered around a Victim mindset where we often play the role of victim, persecutor or rescuer, and sometimes all three!

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In this episode Jo-Anne walks us through the questions you need to ask to move from the drama triangle to The Empowerment Dynamic.The central role here is that of creator and you can also help others by being a challenger or a coach. There is a lot of great information in this episode and Jo-Anne was just scratching the surface.

If you want to know more about how TED and the 3 Vital Questions can transform your relationships and your organization contact Jo-Anne at 226-218-8099.

CHECK OUT THIS SPECIAL OFFER FOR OUR LISTENERS: Jo-Anne is offering an opportunity to access her coaching at a discounted rate, plus sign up for her newsletter and get a free TED worksheet to get you well on the way to becoming the creator of your life. Check it out at www.couragetolead.ca

 

Episode 63 | Interview with Patti M Hall: Living a Memoir-able Life

Have you ever had an experience where you meet someone and immediately connect with them? You want to schedule time to have a drink or a coffee and do a deep dive into a conversation you know will be stimulating and energetic? That's exactly how we felt when we met Patti Hall earlier this year. She was accompanying Steph Jagger, her friend and colleague, when we interviewed Steph. After the interview we had a chance to connect with Patti and knew we HAD to have her on Reframe Your Life.

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Patti M Hall is a writer, ghostwriter, proud #Memoiraholic and book coach. Online Patti creates inspirational content for aspiring memoirists, wannabe writers and folks who love putting pen to paper. Patti's home is in Canada where she lives with her massive #memoir library, two giant sons and a pack of golden retrievers. Patti has lived a life that no mom chooses to live. She is the mother of a child with a rare disease. The discovery of this disease and the journey that follows is a raw and honest account of what happens in a family when a diagnosis is made. Reframing sounds inadequate to describe what she had to do.

We realized quickly into this episode that we would need more time with Patti. You'll know why when you listen to it! She is an inspiring woman with a heart for a good story and a depth that comes from having to rise up to the task of being a rare mother.

If writing your story has been something you've been considering reach out to Patti through her website. And follow her on social media - she uses :pattimhall everywhere.

Episode 62 | From the archives - Courtney Carver

This week we are revisiting our episode with Courtney Carver. We were first introduced to Courtney via the documentary Minimalism and were intrigued by her story. Inspired through an illness to simplify her life, she and her family embarked on a journey of de-cluttering their lives to help release them from constant financial challenges and decisions they had to make daily. Hear about her journey and the initiative she has developed: Project 333 - that encourages people to take up the challenge of living for 3 months on 33 items of clothing. It has inspired us both to de-clutter in various aspects of our lives, and yes, we buy less clothes!

Episode 60 | What we've learned and implemented from our guests

It's been 60 episodes and during that time we have interviewed 15 guests. What a truly amazing experience it has been. It really is an honour to interview people and learn from them and their stories. On this episode we review lessons learned from some of our guests. We each share what actions we’ve taken as a result. We are all on this journey of living and leading our best lives. It is one thing to learn and gather information, but true leadership lies in taking action. That action could be a shift in mindset, which ultimately impacts our thoughts and our actions, or it could be larger change in the way we live and work. We invite you to join us in your own reflection and revisit some of these episodes.

So here they are in order of our discussion!

Episode 9: Our interview with Jeff Hendler on transitions and resilience.

In this episode, chosen by Sandy, we talk about resilience. How do you view resilience in your life? It's an important topic.

Jeff challenged us to think about two things:

1. How do you view the world?

2. How do you view yourself?

As a result of this episode Sandy did a lot of thinking about how she was dealing with her own story of resilience and strength. It is a very personal conversation that we hope will help anyone struggling with resilience.

Episode 17: Deborah Bakti - Embrace the Gap

Jo-Anne resonated with this interview - especially the idea of slowing down when you are in the midst of a transition. There is a stage between your current reality and your ideal vision of your future often referred to as 'the gap'. Deborah shared the GAAP acronym with us: Growth - Acceptance - Awareness and Perspective as tools for navigating the gap. As Jo-Anne identified, we can be in such a rush to get through it we we don’t embrace the gap and miss out on the growth available to us during that time. A big action Jo-Anne took as a result of this interview was to become a certified facilitator of The Empowerment Dynamic (now renamed the 3 Vital Questions - a guide to work and life). We'll be featuring more on this program in an upcoming episode.

Episode 35 - Ezzie Spencer How the moon can help you thrive

Have you ever wondered about the moon cycles? Lawyer - activist turned lunar abundance coach and author Ezzie Spencer will give you a different perspective on how the moon can be a guide to creating rhythms that bring balance into your life. This topic could easily get really woo-woo but it doesn't! In fact, it becomes quite practical and grounded. Sandy learned, "The moon cycle gives us permission to have rhythms in our life. It helps us to focus on rest and self-care and not just feeling like we should always be going/doing. It keeps us from that all or nothing way we live." And a result she has started tracking the moon and letting it inform her schedule.

Episode 28 - Erin Power: Alter your relationship with food to feel good

We interviewed Erin Power ten months ago. And it continues to be one of our most discussed episodes in conversations with our listeners. Jo-Anne has been friends with Erin since she moved to Canada and has been watching her social media as she developed her business. Erin’s story was that she was a fat, sick, fitness instructor. Jo-Anne shared, "Erin is very knowledgeable about health and fitness. When she shared her story, because I didn’t have any major health issues, I didn’t think I needed to hear the information. But as a result of that episode I have totally changed the way I eat. And changed the way my husband eats! I’ve impacted friends and my trainer, who in turn is passing the info on to his clients. I’m getting coaching around nutrition so I can learn more about what is right for me!"

Episode 54 - Bea Johnson and the Zero Waste Home

If you want to get serious about living sustainably this episode is a must listen. One action Sandy learned from Bea is to have a system in place.If you want to make any change you need to think about how you are going to make that change. From grocery shopping to product choices - it gets easier when you have a system to help support you.

Episode 46 - Steph Jagger - Lift Restraining Device

This episode had so much for those of us who want to reframe our lives! Jo-Anne's reflection on this episode was a reminder not to seek permission or validation of her choices. There will always be critics and there will be those who don't get it. What's important is to embrace the things that you value and pursue them. Jo-Anne shared, "All my life I’ve been focused on achieving. I set the goal and work at it hard. I want to be first. But it’s not just about the goal, it’s also about the experience. Slow down, start listening, be present. Settle the ego."

We had such a rich conversation on this episode. We encourage you to not only listen but go back and re-visit the episodes we reference (links are highlighted). Let us know your favourite guests and who you would like us to interview.

And if anyone can connect us with Arlene Dickinson get in touch! We'd love to have her on the podcast! 

Episode 59 | Ashley Keefe Interview on Yoga, Entrepreneurship and Leadership

Our guest this week started reframing her life early in her career! Ashley’s entrepreneurial journey started with a dream to create a space where people could come to strengthen their minds and bodies, share a sense of community and leave feeling their best. At twenty years old, while completing her business degree, she started working in the fitness world including personal training and teaching a variety of different fitness disciplines. After finishing school, like many, she began working in the corporate world and quickly realized the 9 to 5 life wasn’t for her! But it was when she took her first yoga training in 2007 that she knew right away what she wanted to do. She knew she could help people by sharing the physical and mental benefits she was receiving from her own yoga practice with others. Since then, she has completed thousands of hours of training in yoga, meditation, anatomy, fitness, leadership, and business. She has invested in and consulted other yoga studios both in Canada and the US and has mentored over twenty students that went on to be teachers and leaders in the community.

At the age of twenty-two she decided she wanted to start her own business. And at twenty-four that dream was actualized when she opened her yoga studio! We discuss the learning curve that she encountered as a young woman starting a business. Ashley talks about how her own yoga practice helped her to keep showing up even when it was uncomfortable.

A word of wisdom we are taking away is:

Your business growth will always match your personal growth

In this episode, we cover a lot of ground. We talk about body image, self-confidence and some of the barriers people have when it comes to yoga. If you have ever considered going to a yoga studio but social media images of perfect bodies effortlessly holding extremely difficult poses scares you away, you’ll love Ashley’s experience with yoga. Ashley explains how yoga can help increase mobility and flexibility as well as the well-known mental and spiritual benefits.

If you are interested in starting your own business, Ashley is hosting a free online summit called The Entrepreneurial Adventure Guide. Click on the image for more details.

Reflecting on this episode reminded us the overlap between personal development, business development and leadership development. When you are focused on any of these areas there is a ripple effect in the other two. If you would like to connect with Ashley you can email her at ashley@ashleykeefe.com or find her on Instagram @ashelytkeefe.

Episode 58 | Why Women Need Other Women and Retreats!

If you live in Canada, we hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving weekend. We have so much to be thankful for in our lives. We are especially thankful this week for the company of women. Our female relationships have been an incredible support in our lives. In fact, we think they are so important we include relationships as part of the Reframe Your Life model.

On our episode this week we talk about being intentional about making time to be with other women. Most of us are busy with work and family and we find it difficult to find quality time to spend with other women.

How intentional are you about getting together with other women?

We both have recognized the value of spending time with other women and have made it a priority to schedule it in. Whether it is for a glass of wine or a weekend away, spending time with women is restorative and refreshing. We received feedback from our survey that you would like a retreat so we have planned one! A retreat is generally a strategic, intentional time away from your normal life to focus on something specific. A good rule of thumb is to plan to get away twice a year. You need to make self-care a priority. We all do.

Here's just a few ways you will benefit from our Reframe Your Life Retreat:

1. Connection - You have an opportunity to spend time with other women who are like minded. Whether you come with a friend or alone you will be spending the day in the company of women who have signed up to do the same thing - put their life on hold for a day so they can focus on themselves. You'll find that spending time with women allows you to connect and share your life experiences. You will meet people you wouldn't normally meet.

2. Get support and feedback - Women like to share their stories and experiences. When you are with a group of women you benefit from the wisdom in the room. And they benefit from your experience. It is powerful and empowering to work through challenges or opportunities with other women.

3. Focus and clarity - You get time to reflect and think about what is on your mind. You won't be responsible for meal planning or picking up after anyone mid way through the day. How often you get to sit and think about where your are in your life and what you want to focus on next?

For more details listen to the whole episode and then click here to go to our retreat page. 

Episode 57 | Interview with Bea Johnson author of Zero Waste Home

Have you ever thought that you could make choices to live more sustainably AND save money? This week's episode is a huge reframe! Our interview with Bea Johnson is inspiring, insightful and practical.

In 2008, Bea and her family adopted a zero waste lifestyle; their household has since produced a ½ litre of trash per year. With her blog and bestseller Zero Waste Home (translated in 17 languages), Bea launched a global movement and continues to inspire a growing community to live simply and take a stance against needless waste. She shatters misconceptions, proving that zero waste can not only be stylish, but also lead to significant health benefits, and time and money savings.

Her family discovered they were saving 40% more by following these 5 R's in the order presented:

1. Refuse - Begin here by saying no to things you don't need. Refuse to buy more than you need or packaged items that will find their way to a landfill.

2. Reduce - Use less. Buy less. Simplify your life. There are many ways we can reduce in our lives. We get some practical advice from Bea on this topic.

3. Reuse - How can you reuse items you already own? Can you repurpose something? Instead of throwing things into the trash how about finding another way to use it. Using old clothes as rags is one simple example.

4. Recycle - As Bea said this is where most of us start. We have bought into recycling without recognizing that there is still an environmental impact when we recycle. It's a good thing to do but sending less to the recycling plant is a good step as well.

5. Rot - Do you compost? Depending where you live you may have a green bin where your city picks up composting. You can also do this at home and create your own compost to use in your garden. Jo-Anne has been doing this for years.

We get into way more...from wine to mascara and how we can make better choices to live more sustainably.

We think you'll be challenged by this conversation AND inspired to Reframe Your Life.

We recommend picking up a copy of Zero Waste Home either at your local bookstore, online (click on cover above) or at your library. You'll find a lot of practical ideas to implement in your life.

And don't forget our retreat on November 18th. We'll be spending a full day looking at how we can live and lead our best lives. Consider attending. We would love to learn with you.

Episode 56 | Do you call yourself a leader?

We started this podcast to continue the conversation with women on how we can live and lead our best lives. We talk about a variety of topics and interview guests that we think demonstrate leadership in their lives.

Do you call yourself as a leader?

Have you ever thought about how you actually define leadership?

In this episode we share our definitions of leadership and some of the ways we have developed as leaders. Leadership means understanding you are the creator of your own life. You don't live like a victim you recognize that you have responsibility and you take accountability for yourself. Leadership is also a function - the role or title you hold whether it is at work or at home.

Here are just a few of the ideas we discuss in this week's episode:

Find the right tools. As a woman in leadership you can elevate your leadership capacity by finding the right tools. Whether it's the right mentor, the right coach, the right reading materials, or the right class or networking capabilities, be open to using the tools at your disposal. Podcasts and courses can also be helpful. Of course, we would say that!

What tools do you need to tap into to grow in your leadership?

Empathy. Being able to put yourself in someone else's place is an important leadership skill. When you are able to understand the different perspectives of people and empathize you will be a more effective leader. There is good news here for women! An in-depth white paper by Caliper states: Women leaders also were found to be more empathetic and flexible, as well as stronger in interpersonal skills than their male counterparts. For many women the challenge is that we let our concern for how others are feeling get in the way of our ability to lead effectively.

Are you balanced in your empathy?

Communication. It is the key to effective leadership, particularly when it comes to communicating across cultures. Get really clear on how you are communicating. We offer you some specifics here on areas that you may want to pay attention to to level up your communication. And that was a clue! Listen to the whole episode for the details.

Where can you improve your communication?

There's a lot more in the episode. From acting with integrity to being authentic. We got personal about our own challenges.

So how are you going to continue growing in you leadership?

Right now, think about your life, what is one area where you would like to really see growth in? If you haven't completed our Balance Wheel it is a great way to take stock. You can download it here

Think about it, what one area would you like to see really improve?

What can you do today to start?

We have one big recommendation for you! If you are able to attend our retreat on November 18th we'll be spending a full day looking at how we can live and lead our best lives. Consider attending. We would love to learn with you.

Episode 55 | Practice Self Love with Boundaries

If you want to make changes in your life, one of the first challenges is to set boundaries for yourself and in your relationships. The second challenge is to respect those boundaries and insist others do as well.

On this episode we talk all about boundaries. Boundaries are limits. They are the fences we put up to keep ourselves emotionally safe in relationships. We need them when our boss emails at 8 pm at night expecting a response. We need them when someone says something that makes us uncomfortable. We need them when we say we aren't eating chocolate and our BFF shows up with our favourite chocolate bar.

Are you saying yes when you mean yes?

Are you saying no when you mean no?

If you are you probably have good boundaries in place. One of the biggest challenges women face in boundaries is expecting other people to respect our boundaries. It starts with us. We have to respect our boundaries first!

Here are just some of the big lessons we share in this episode:

1. Don’t expect other people to know your boundaries. You have to verbalize them. (He's not a mind reader!)

2. Stop spending time with people who don’t respect your boundaries. And tell them why you aren't spending time with them.

3. Practice setting boundaries - with a friend if needed.

4. Learn to be OK with disappointing people. When you set boundaries you will disappoint people. Remember: The only people who get upset when you set boundaries are the people who benefited from you having none.

5. Set them early or set them as soon as you become aware you need one.It is never too late to set boundaries in a relationship.

6. Reframe boundaries - see them as self-respect, protecting your well-being and joy so you can be present to what is really important.

This episode is a rich discussion on the lessons we have learned in our life and leadership around boundaries. If you have struggled to set boundaries or felt like you didn't get the respect you wanted you will find this episode helpful in reframing boundaries.

Episode 54 | Cea Sunrise Person talks about her life reframe

As adults a lot of us have had to go back to our childhood and do some reframing. We do that by looking back using the lens of an adult and realizing that we had done the only thing we could do as children - processed our experiences as children. For some of us we blamed ourselves for things that happened that were not our fault. As we look at our childhood through the lens of an adult we can reframe our experience differently and for many of us that brings healing. We are no longer victims and can begin to create a new story.

Our guest today had a childhood that was so unconventional it needed reframing! If you think your childhood was different you'll resonate with her story.

Cea Sunrise Person is the author of the best selling books North of Normal and Nearly Normal.

Click book covers to purchase or read more.

Today Cea is a successful writer, speaker and writing coach. You can find out more about her at her website where you will also find links to her social media sites. What did we learn from this interview? We learned how important it is to face your fears and not let them paralyze you. And we were also reminded that when we meet someone it is easy to make assumptions about who they are and what they have been through. If you met Cea on the street today it would be easy to assume she has had an easy life. Our stories are powerful and sharing them helps us all to reframe our lives and remember how resilient we can be.

Episode 53 | How your smartphone can increase your well-being

Keeping current with technology can be a lot of work. And the app store can be overwhelming. How do you know what apps are really good? Ratings and reviews help but we like personal recommendations. We find it helpful to learn from each other and to share what really works for us so we can get the most out of these devices that seem to have taken over so much of our lives.

On our social media episode we talked about the negative side of technology. On this episode we want to reframe technology and talk about how our smartphones are helping us live better lives.

Note: The apps we talk about in this episode are iPhone specific although many of them have android versions

1. Headspace Jo-Anne uses this app each morning to help her become more mindful. There is a free trial available if you are interested in checking it out. The app provides a guided meditation that takes about ten minutes. It helps you to become more calm and centered. Let us know if you try it and what you think. Or if you have a meditation app that works for you!

2. My Medical Sandy has found this app very helpful in tracking all things related to her physical well-being. From the developer's' website: "My Medical is a comprehensive record-keeping app for your personal medical information. It's the perfect replacement for unreliable paper records or various electronic systems that hold bits and pieces of your medical history. With My Medical, any and all information that is important to you is kept together in one place." You'll never wonder when you had your last mammogram again!

3. Sworkit Jo-Anne recommends this fitness app as a replacement or alternative to going to the gym. There are in-app purchases available and you can sign up for programs to get you the results that you are interested in achieving. It’s like a personal trainer in an app. Fitness apps can be a great option if you are not interested in going to a gym. Fitness Blender is another alternative that Jo-Anne uses.

4. Calm This app is recommended by Sandy. It helps you relax and sleep better. It includes in-app purchases but there are also free options. This one differs from Headspace in that it has more variety including calming music and sleeping stories. It is great if you have anxiety and have trouble falling asleep.

5. Hiking Apps: The health benefits of being in the forest are well documented. We often hike together to talk about our podcast, business and lives. The conversations we have in the woods have nourished our friendship.

The Bruce Trail App This app helps us plan our hikes and promotes us spending time in nature. We recently did a hike on the Bruce Trail and found it challenging to find the trail in a few places. This app kept us from getting too far off the path. For all of our listeners in Ontario we recommend exploring this beautiful trail.

The Great Trail App will have you walking across Canada. It's new this year to celebrate Canada's 150th. Once we finish the Bruce Trail maybe we'll start on the rest of Canada!

All Trails This app will show you trails in your area. Jo-Anne introduced it on this episode and it is really helpful. If you want to hike wherever you are check out this app.

We want to live and lead our best lives. Let's support each other. Share on our Facebook page or on Instagram the apps that you use to increase your well-being. What are the apps you can’t live without? What apps have helped you and how?

Episode 52 | You've got the power - what are you doing with it?

It happens all too often. It happened yesterday. We do it. You do it. We give away our power. We don't even realize it. But other people do.

Here is Sandy's story about what happened yesterday:

I'm going to change a few of the details so I don't alienate anyone. I was out with a team from an organization that I have worked with in the past. Everyone present was an influencer in the organization. A woman at the table made a comment. She holds a senior leadership role. She said, as she dismissed an idea that was presented that was innovative and had the potential to shake things up, "We have to cater to our investors." I stopped the conversation and challenged her, "If you want to choose to cater to your investors, fine. But own it. You aren't a victim. You are making a choice here."

The truth is, I do the same thing all the time. It's just easier to see it in someone else. We need to be careful about the language we use. There is power in words. We invite you to think about your own power this week as you listen to our episode.

Start by reflecting on these questions:

1. When have you felt powerless?

2. How do you regain your sense of power?

3. When have you felt powerful?

We looked at these areas of power in our lives:

Positional Power - If you have a title that gives you authority then you have positional power. Examples are: parent, manager, fitness instructor, board member.

Relational Power - You can have power because of your relationships. If you are connected to someone in a powerful position you can have power through that relationship. You have power through your networks and the people you influence through relationships.

Personal Power - You have power in your own life. You have power to make decisions To not be a victim. To be the creator of your own story.

What other places of power do you think of? Share them with us!

As women we need to be aware of the story we tell ourselves about our power. We are not victims. We can develop our power in healthy ways.

Here are a few ideas:

Develop resilience: Deal with setbacks and negatives in your life. Learn how to handle adversity. Get support if needed.

Develop your network: There is power in relationships. Connect with the right people. We explored this more in Episode 38.

Keep Learning: Knowledge is power. Formal and informal education can help us increase and understand power in our lives. Being informed about whatever issues concern you can help you regain power. Read books by inspiring people can help you begin to shift your thinking in your life. Listen to podcasts!

Choose your words carefully: Do you say, 'should/have to/must/no choice' often? Reframe it! Every time we turn on the news or look at our twitter feed we can feel overwhelmed with the violence, corruption, threats of war and destruction of the environment. Now, more than ever, we need to own our power and not become victims.

We are in this together!

Episode 51 | Reframing Social Media - is it possible?

How much time do you spend on social media?

Like most people we have a love/hate relationship with these on-line spaces. These platforms affect every area of our lives - especially our relationships and our self-image. Many of us have strong opinions about social media and how we use it. Our opinions and views can polarize us. We certainly don't have all the answers for you on this week's episode. We disagree on this topic at points as well. It's a massive topic to discuss in one podcast. We feel it deserves our attention. We look at the positive and negatives and then offer some suggestions for you to reframe this area of your life.

 

Positives:

1. Connection: Social media allows us to keep in touch with a larger network of social connections in our life. Jo-Anne talks about how this has helped her keep connected with friends from different countries and places she has lived.

2. Communities: We are both part of Facebook groups that allow us to foster community with people with shared interests. Sandy's neighbourhood Facebook page is quite active and keeps area residents informed on everything from community events to construction and even missing pets.

3. Learning: When Jo-Anne wanted to try juicing recently she put the question out on social media and had many helpful responses from people who had tried it. Sandy follows influencers on Instagram who are writing and leading the way in the area of ethical fashion.

4. Exploring: Sandy loves to see the beautiful pictures that people are posting. Before her recent trip to Europe she used hashtags on Instagram to see what people were enjoying in the places she planned to visit. 5. Emergency Services: Lives are saved through social media. During natural disasters, terrorist attacks, Amber alerts or other crisis information can be communicated to a large network.

5. Platform: As an entrepreneur social media provides you with a platform. Today anyone can have a voice and build a brand. It is easy to take this for granted but it is amazing and unprecedented in history.

 

Negatives:

1. Time Drain: Hopping on your social media accounts can waste time, distract you from what you really want/need to do and be an easy way to procrastinate.

2. Habit forming: We quote some stats at the beginning of this podcast about how much time we spend on social media. Make no mistake that Facebook/Instagram/LinkedIn/Twitter and all the other sites are businesses. They profit by our use of their platform. And they have made it very easy for us to form habits to keep us coming back.

3. FOMO: Social media can fuel our fear of missing out. We see what others are doing and feel like we need more.

4. Comparisons: We can form perceptions that everyone else has a better life based on the curated images that are posted. Remember that we are only seeing what people want us to see.

YouTube! Another platform that we can spend lots of time on! Portlandia has a couple of great takes on social media.We mentioned their technology loop segment in this episode. Watch this one as well - ready to declare social bankruptcy?

Suggestions:

1. Pick your platforms: You don't need to be everywhere. You can't be everywhere. If you are using social media to build your business or following do some research on where your target market is hanging out. Analytics are available for each platform.

2. Be Realistic: Don't let social media form your understanding of other people's lives - remember you are probably just seeing the best parts of their lives. Don't go on social media if you are feeling discouraged with your life! Cultivate real community and relationships outside of the on-line space to support you.

3. Be Selective: You don't need to be friends with everyone. Unfollow anyone that you find toxic or negative. Follow people you really connect with. Reframe your friends list to reflect quality over quantity.

4. Be Intentional: Schedule time when you check your feeds so it doesn't become habitual. Turn off notifications. Delete social media accounts on your phone to limit your use of them. Don't go on social media / email first thing in the morning.

5. Use Automation to manage your accounts: When we send out this newsletter it automatically posts to twitter. Our Instagram account connects to Facebook. Check out Hootsuite, Edgar, and IFTTT for more automation.

6. Reflect on your social media use and become aware of your habits and choices.

7. Read/Research: As social media becomes more and more a part of our lives, researchers and writers are delving into how we are being shaped by the on-line world.

Here are just two books that we've read recently. Please share any you have read with us.

Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport

Solitude: A Singular Life in a Crowded World by Michael Harris

We would love to learn from you! Tell us how you are managing social media in your life. You can connect with us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram - yes, we get the irony. We are still on our bi-weekly schedule and testing it out. Our next episode will be posted on August 15th. If you haven't completed the survey yet the link is below. And if you have a friend you would like to share this episode with please forward it to them. We want to expand this community.

Episode 50 | Tales and advice from our travel experiences

It's finally here! We are really proud to hit the mark of 50 episodes.

Apparently not many podcasts make it this far. Maybe because it is so hard to see results and to grow your following. We are getting both and we thank you for support.

This week we talk about travel. It was a natural since we both just returned from vacations and were sharing our experiences. Did you know that adults over 50 will take 4 trips per year and rank travel as their number one leisure activity? And boomer women spend nine out of every ten-vacation dollars. (Click here for source).

We definitely like to travel. We discuss our ups and downs in this episode. We share some of the lessons we have learned - especially about travelling with other people. And we share some of our travel tips. We both have learned to reframe line ups and to travel lighter to start.

If you have a trip planned this summer, as part of your planning consider this question, "What will make this trip a success for me?" Once you know the answer, share it with your travel companion(s) and get their response as well. That one conversation will help you create a holiday that is focused on what is really important.

Safe travels!

 

Episode 49 | Ten quotes that will help you Reframe Your Life

We recorded this week's episode a month ago and we are eager to finally share it with you.

BUT FIRST THINGS FIRST: WE NEED YOUR INPUT!

We are coming up to our 50th episode and we are taking some time in a few weeks to work on what is next at Reframe Your Life. We have almost 1000 subscribers and our numbers are going up every month. We know we can improve and get better at what we are doing but we don't want to guess or make assumptions about what our listeners want. We would really appreciate it if you would take time to help us out by completing our survey. Thank you if you have already taken time to complete the survey. The input is helping us know where to focus next. If you haven't completed it yet, PLEASE take a few minutes and give us your opinion. You will find it here

OK...now back to our regular program. In preparation for this episode, we compiled quotes that have motivated us or inspired us in our work. We discuss how we collect quotes and how we use them in our work. It's true that you can easily find inspirational quotes searching on the web - we do that as well. But there are quotes that stick with us and we never need to search for them. They are quotes that we have read or heard that articulated exactly what we needed to think about at that time. The first quote we chose is the one below:

This quote was shared with us after a time where we had been immersed in a learning environment that had been deeply transformative. We were reminded that when we went back to 'the real world', we would see thing differently. The change we experienced could impact the relationships that had seemed so easy and fitting before. It was good preparation and we both go back to it at different times in our lives. If you like that quote, you will love this episode.

We have nine more quotes we love that we share and discuss.

Enjoy and please send us your favourite quotes. Send them by email  or share on Facebook or Instagram.

Episode 48 | Find Your Voice with Danielle Vlemmiks

You know it isn't just what you say, it is how you say it that can have the greatest impact in your communication. 

In this episode we talk about:

  • how to use your words to inspire action
  • non-verbal communication
  • becoming a better presenter including some practical tips on how to get feedback when and how you want it.
  • the power of silence 
  • the one thing all women can do be better presenters
  • our handshake issues
  • a great question to get feedback from your friends and colleagues
  • and more!

We think you will find this episode practical in helping you feel more confident in all of your communications. 

Jo-Anne mentioned the handshake video. Here it is:

To connect with our guest today contact her at:  dvlemmiks@gmail.com