It is difficult to be aware of our assumptions, stereotypes and biases. Unfortunately, we often judge each other based on very superficial things.
In this episode we talk about unconscious bias.
Those automatic assessments we make of each other influenced by our previous experiences, culture and beliefs. These assumptions are not true - they are things we believe are true and influence our thinking and the way we respond to people.
Here’s a list of some we talked about and a few we thought of after we recorded! You can fill in the blanks as appropriate:
- People want to have children or get married
- People with tattoos are ____________
- People over ___ years old are _________
- People who are overweight are lazy or lack self-discipline
- People without a university degree are _____________
- People who live in ____________ are _____________
You can probably think of some of your own judgements. If not ask a good friend - they will tell you what they have heard or seen.
So, how do we reframe?
Here are some suggestions:
Reflect: Go for a walk down the street and check what you are thinking about the people you are passing. What story are you telling about them? Where does that story come from? Is it rooted in an unconscious bias?
Review: Be self aware. engage in dialogue with people who will help you check your assumptions. Ask someone to point out any assumptions they hear you making. Warning: this could be uncomfortable.
Realign: Sometimes we find ourselves living double lives where we we are hiding our true selves from others. If your choices are counter culture reframe yourself as a trailblazer. Do a little research on the topic and find out the real data and not just the societal norms to give you courage if needed.
Recreate: Revise the story you are telling yourself so that you are the creator of something new and wonderful. Have courage to speak your truth around what you are thinking and when appropriate talk to others about their unconscious bias. If necessary have a dialogue with a person who has challenged your thinking.
Try this framework:
"When you said __________________. I assumed _______________. I need to hear your perspective."
You may hear some assumptions that have been made about you. Remember you can only do this with a person who is willing to have a conversation!
Links to some of the resources we mentioned:
The Minimalist's Documentary - How we can live with less.
The FIELD Collaborative - for cultural intelligence assessments
Ladder of Inference
Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
Learning in Relationship by Ronald Short
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Thanks for being part of our reframing community,
Jo-Anne & Sandy x
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