Episode 15 | Looking good to feel good!

Why is that one of our default conversation starters when we run into someone we haven't seen for a while is, "you look great"?

Why is it that we feel that one of the best things we can do is comment on how someone looks? 

We had a heart to heart talk on our podcast this week about what it means to be a woman and how we both find ourselves very aware of our appearance. Whether it is makeup, grey hair, clothing choices or weight - our confidence and how we feel about who we are is tied up in our appearance. 

We laughed a lot recording this episode. We spoke honestly about own judgments and obsessions. Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:


  • Our messages about appearance start very young. 
  • We are always talking about what women wear (think of Hillary Clinton and her pant suits).
  • We have internalized ‘when I look good I feel good’.
  • We can feel frustrated by the reality that we care about how we look to the extent that our confidence is tied up in our appearance.
  • We form first impressions in about 3 seconds - largely based on appearance!


  • Accept that people are forming impressions of you based on how you look.
  • What message do you want to give? Define what looking good is for you. It will differ for each of us. 
  • Strive for authenticity - be who YOU are. Be comfortable with your choices. 
  • Identify people who are models of ageing consciously and serve as role models. Sandy admires Helen Mirren.
  • Pay attention to how much time and money you are spending on your appearance - is this aligned with your values? Get curious about what is behind your choices. 


  • Remember that your appearance doesn't matter to the people who love you the most. 
  • Surround yourself with people who encourage you and know the you under the facade. 
  • Don't tell people they look tired (especially Sandy!!)
  • Talk to younger women about these issues to help them understand the ongoing pressure women feel as they age. 

We would love to have you share your thoughts on being a woman and appearances on our Facebook page or Instagram feed