Episode 80 | Lara Heacock on Creating a Kinder World


We could all use a little more kindess in our lives. Being busy is a cultural norm that leads many women feeling exhausted and out of control in their lives. Lara Heacock has experienced that unending pressure to do more, be more and have more. And the subsequent burn out that is the inevitable result.

We get it. Jo-Anne has talked previously about how she reframed the word 'busy' to 'full' in her vocabulary. Our language is important and we want to make sure we use it to help us own our lives fully. Lara suggests we stop saying "I don't have time" and get clear by saying, "I didn't make time." Let's take responsibility for the things we have done or not done. And for how we talk about our choices.

Lara shares her story starting with committing to Self-Care Saturday - a weekly commitment to spending time doing things that would help her restore balance in her life. This commitment changed everything for her.

And kindness extends beyond self-care - it involves how we treat each other personally and professionally. Lara works with her corporate clients to help them develop a kinder aproach to how they work together. Imagine being part of a corporate culture where kindness is a value! If you've ever wished you responded with more kindness OR wished you had been treated more kindly this episode will inspire you!

If you are new to Reframe Your Life after you listen to this episode we suggest you listen to Episode 70 - Practical Ways to Practice Self-Care. 

Episode 74 | Memoir #2: Gathering Stories with Patti M Hall

Last week we addressed the barriers we face when it comes to writing our memoir or story. If you didn't get a chance to listen to the episode you can link to it here.

Once you've had a chance to address those barriers, the next step is to get started. But where do you start? Do you just open up a blank document and start writing the first memory that pops in your mind? Maybe - but after that story is finished then what? What do you do next? Memoir writing expert, Patti Hall has developed an approach that helps her clients not only have a bank of stories to draw on, but also begin to see the themes in that are emerging in their story. We think it is great and she takes us both through the process she uses on this episode. Warning: We get pretty vulnerable about our past!

What story would have to be in your memoir?

Think about what stories were defining moments for you and shaped who you are. Try answering that question and listen to our answers. You'll notice Patti has a gift for drawing out stories. Start making note of what you want to include. We share a few that we think must be in our stories and discover that there is a vulnerability required in this process.

Where would your story start? Where would it end?

This week we get into the initial steps of how to write a memoir timeline and where to start your story. Memoirs are a part of your life not your entire life. If you have read Wild  or Eat Pray Love for example, those stories represent a specific time in the author's lives.

We have a timeline worksheet available to help you get started! Be sure to listen to this week's episode for instructions on how to complete it. 

Episode 70 | Practical Ways to Practice Self-Care

Did you know one of the most used words in 2017 was 'hustle'? We live in a world that values the hustle. Taking time for ourselves feels like slacking off.

On this episode we want to Reframe Self-Care. Here are some reasons that self-care is important:

Self-care prevents burnout

We’ve all been there - you push yourself to the point that you can’t take anymore so you just give up. Self care helps you avoid getting to that point. Self care reduces the negative effects of stress: A small amount of stress can serve a purpose, but after a while, it just breaks down your mind and body. Taking care of yourself means keeping your stress from taking over so you can function at full capacity.

Self-care helps you refocus

When Jo-Anne was stuck on a complicated math problem in school, her teacher would suggest walking away and coming back—taking a break, basically. Breaks are the epitome of self care, and studies show they’re great for helping you perform better.

Self-care is reminding yourself that YOU matter.

It is a way of valuing yourself. Not just a way of getting more done. In other words, self care is not a reward. It’s part of the process. Sometimes we get so used to “rewarding ourselves” with lunch or even a trip to the bathroom, though, that we forget exactly what it means to take care of ourselves.

January can be a difficult month for many people. We need to lighten up the pressure we put on ourselves and show ourselves some love. And show other people some love as well. Tune in to our episode this week for some practical ways you can take care of yourself. And, when you hear someone talking about how unmotivated they feel direct them to our podcast!

Episode 65 | Five plus one ways to end well

Every beginning is a consequence. Every beginning ends something.

- Paul Valery

In order to really change your life, to Reframe Your Life, you are going to need to let go of something. You can’t do the same thing and expect different results. It is the definition of insanity to think life works that way. On our current episode, available now, we talk about some areas where you may have to let go or end things in order to move into what you really want. We know from experience this journey isn’t going to be easy!

William Bridges, in his landmark book on Transitions talks about how when we enter into transition the first step is ending. He says, “The starting point for dealing with transition is not the outcome but the ending that you will have to leave the old situation behind. Situational change hinges on the new thing, but psychological transition depends on on letting go of the old reality and the old identity you had before the change took place.

Here are the five areas we explore in this episode that you will need to end to move forward in your life.

1. Approval: Your need for approval needs to end. When you make a big change in your life there will be doubters, naysayers, and people who don't think you should make the change. People might question your sanity - especially if you are going against the status quo.

2. People that don’t support you: Beyond their approval, you might have people who try to sabotage your change. You may find that you no longer fit with certain people as you change. We often use the quote, "My how you've changed since I've changed." It speaks to this challenge of no longer fitting with people. Your changes will make other people uncomfortable. We get this when we talk about addictions. People who have decided to quit smoking or drinking may not be comfortable hanging out with the group that supported those habits. But this happens in other areas of our life as well. You may find yourself wondering what you ever had in common with someone. It can be tough to move on but you need to make a decsion if a relationship is holding you back.

3. Circumstances: Is there a circumstance that is holding you back? You can't have it all. If you want to travel for 4 months out of the year that may get in the way of building a business or taking a course. You need to assess your reality - is there a circumstance holding you back or a perceived circumstance?

4. Beliefs/Mindsets: What is your belief about ending a new situation? What is holding you back? Do you have questions like, "who am I to do this?" Get clear on why you want to end something. Assess your beliefs and mindsets when ending or beginning something. What are you telling yourself about this change?

5. Behaviours/Habits: You can’t watch Netflix all day! Maybe, like Jo-Anne, you need to end spending a lot of time at the gym doing weights so you can create space for something else - like yoga. Listen to the episode for more details on changing habits to create space for the things you want.

Plus one:

1. Celebrate:  Don't forget to celebrate those victories around endings! You are working hard to live and lead your best life. This stuff isn't easy. Be intentional about celebrating those victories!

As we approach the final month of the year, we want you to think about Reframing 2018. We'll be continuing this conversation over the next two weeks. Start thinking about what you need to end to create space for what you want next year.