Every beginning is a consequence. Every beginning ends something.
- Paul Valery
In order to really change your life, to Reframe Your Life, you are going to need to let go of something. You can’t do the same thing and expect different results. It is the definition of insanity to think life works that way. On our current episode, available now, we talk about some areas where you may have to let go or end things in order to move into what you really want. We know from experience this journey isn’t going to be easy!
William Bridges, in his landmark book on Transitions talks about how when we enter into transition the first step is ending. He says, “The starting point for dealing with transition is not the outcome but the ending that you will have to leave the old situation behind. Situational change hinges on the new thing, but psychological transition depends on on letting go of the old reality and the old identity you had before the change took place.
Here are the five areas we explore in this episode that you will need to end to move forward in your life.
1. Approval: Your need for approval needs to end. When you make a big change in your life there will be doubters, naysayers, and people who don't think you should make the change. People might question your sanity - especially if you are going against the status quo.
2. People that don’t support you: Beyond their approval, you might have people who try to sabotage your change. You may find that you no longer fit with certain people as you change. We often use the quote, "My how you've changed since I've changed." It speaks to this challenge of no longer fitting with people. Your changes will make other people uncomfortable. We get this when we talk about addictions. People who have decided to quit smoking or drinking may not be comfortable hanging out with the group that supported those habits. But this happens in other areas of our life as well. You may find yourself wondering what you ever had in common with someone. It can be tough to move on but you need to make a decsion if a relationship is holding you back.
3. Circumstances: Is there a circumstance that is holding you back? You can't have it all. If you want to travel for 4 months out of the year that may get in the way of building a business or taking a course. You need to assess your reality - is there a circumstance holding you back or a perceived circumstance?
4. Beliefs/Mindsets: What is your belief about ending a new situation? What is holding you back? Do you have questions like, "who am I to do this?" Get clear on why you want to end something. Assess your beliefs and mindsets when ending or beginning something. What are you telling yourself about this change?
5. Behaviours/Habits: You can’t watch Netflix all day! Maybe, like Jo-Anne, you need to end spending a lot of time at the gym doing weights so you can create space for something else - like yoga. Listen to the episode for more details on changing habits to create space for the things you want.
1. Celebrate: Don't forget to celebrate those victories around endings! You are working hard to live and lead your best life. This stuff isn't easy. Be intentional about celebrating those victories!
As we approach the final month of the year, we want you to think about Reframing 2018. We'll be continuing this conversation over the next two weeks. Start thinking about what you need to end to create space for what you want next year.