Episode 86 | What are the desires of your heart?

What are your heart's desires? And how do the choices that you are making support the desires and dreams you have in becoming a reality? I explore the topic of desires in this week's episode of Reframe Your Life.

A very basic definition of desire is a strong feeling to want or have something. We have lots of desires. I desire to be healthy. I desire to have good friends. I desire a good night’s sleep - especially after a restless night of sleep. You may have some beliefs about desires that make it difficult for you to trust them.

Here are some beliefs I have heard about desires:

  • You can't trust your feelings or desires.
  • Following your desires will lead you to destruction or harm.
  • The heart is wicked and not to be trusted.
  • Feelings are not scientific or factual
  • You shouldn’t make decisions based on feelings or emotions

What messages have you heard around desires?

I remember the mixed messages I received over the years around desires, emotions, feelings, faith and spirituality. One day I read, “God gives you the desires of your heart” and I started thinking about things differently. If my very desires were given to me by the Creator then how could they be bad?

This week I was reading a book a friend gave me by Sage Levine about developing your business. It’s called Women Rocking Business and although I find the title a bit hokey I’ve been surprised to find the content so focused on the spiritual side of business.

She talks about our desires as being our Yellow Brick Road. They are the stepping stones that lead us to our destiny. When we start to pay attention to what we desire we start to make decisions that are aligned with our truest self.

And here’s a fascinating thought she shares. The word desire comes from a Latin root (sidus) meaning star or heavenly body. De-sire can be broken down to ‘of the sire’ which translates to ‘Of the Kingdom of God.” When I read that I immediately thought of the spiritual teaching, “Seek first the Kingdom of God."

What if following your desires is actually seeking first the kingdom of God? What if all the other stuff we take on, all the shoulds and oughts are really creating a barrier to being who we are designed to be?

We are desire. It is the essence of the human Soul, the secret of our existence. Absolutely nothing of human greatness is ever accomplished without it. Not a symphony has been written, a mountain climbed, an injustice fought, or a love sustained apart from desire. Desire fuels our search for the life we prize.
— John Elderidge

I've been using Danielle Laporte's Desire Mapping Process for the past 5 years to help me explore my feelings and desires. I am an affiliate and you can click on the photo to find out more. The workbooks are inexpensive and are helpful anytime you want to do a deep dive into what's next.

Getting clear on your desires is the first step in reclaiming a healthy and vibrant spiritual life. Of course, desires need to be balanced with discernment and in the next episode we are going to talk about what a healthy discernment process looks like. And I will be taking you further into this in my course that launches in October. It's called Call of the Sacred and you will spend six weeks learning how to create a healthy and vibrant spiritual life.

Episode 65 | Five plus one ways to end well

Every beginning is a consequence. Every beginning ends something.

- Paul Valery

In order to really change your life, to Reframe Your Life, you are going to need to let go of something. You can’t do the same thing and expect different results. It is the definition of insanity to think life works that way. On our current episode, available now, we talk about some areas where you may have to let go or end things in order to move into what you really want. We know from experience this journey isn’t going to be easy!

William Bridges, in his landmark book on Transitions talks about how when we enter into transition the first step is ending. He says, “The starting point for dealing with transition is not the outcome but the ending that you will have to leave the old situation behind. Situational change hinges on the new thing, but psychological transition depends on on letting go of the old reality and the old identity you had before the change took place.

Here are the five areas we explore in this episode that you will need to end to move forward in your life.

1. Approval: Your need for approval needs to end. When you make a big change in your life there will be doubters, naysayers, and people who don't think you should make the change. People might question your sanity - especially if you are going against the status quo.

2. People that don’t support you: Beyond their approval, you might have people who try to sabotage your change. You may find that you no longer fit with certain people as you change. We often use the quote, "My how you've changed since I've changed." It speaks to this challenge of no longer fitting with people. Your changes will make other people uncomfortable. We get this when we talk about addictions. People who have decided to quit smoking or drinking may not be comfortable hanging out with the group that supported those habits. But this happens in other areas of our life as well. You may find yourself wondering what you ever had in common with someone. It can be tough to move on but you need to make a decsion if a relationship is holding you back.

3. Circumstances: Is there a circumstance that is holding you back? You can't have it all. If you want to travel for 4 months out of the year that may get in the way of building a business or taking a course. You need to assess your reality - is there a circumstance holding you back or a perceived circumstance?

4. Beliefs/Mindsets: What is your belief about ending a new situation? What is holding you back? Do you have questions like, "who am I to do this?" Get clear on why you want to end something. Assess your beliefs and mindsets when ending or beginning something. What are you telling yourself about this change?

5. Behaviours/Habits: You can’t watch Netflix all day! Maybe, like Jo-Anne, you need to end spending a lot of time at the gym doing weights so you can create space for something else - like yoga. Listen to the episode for more details on changing habits to create space for the things you want.

Plus one:

1. Celebrate:  Don't forget to celebrate those victories around endings! You are working hard to live and lead your best life. This stuff isn't easy. Be intentional about celebrating those victories!

As we approach the final month of the year, we want you to think about Reframing 2018. We'll be continuing this conversation over the next two weeks. Start thinking about what you need to end to create space for what you want next year.

Episode 49 | Ten quotes that will help you Reframe Your Life

We recorded this week's episode a month ago and we are eager to finally share it with you.


We are coming up to our 50th episode and we are taking some time in a few weeks to work on what is next at Reframe Your Life. We have almost 1000 subscribers and our numbers are going up every month. We know we can improve and get better at what we are doing but we don't want to guess or make assumptions about what our listeners want. We would really appreciate it if you would take time to help us out by completing our survey. Thank you if you have already taken time to complete the survey. The input is helping us know where to focus next. If you haven't completed it yet, PLEASE take a few minutes and give us your opinion. You will find it here back to our regular program. In preparation for this episode, we compiled quotes that have motivated us or inspired us in our work. We discuss how we collect quotes and how we use them in our work. It's true that you can easily find inspirational quotes searching on the web - we do that as well. But there are quotes that stick with us and we never need to search for them. They are quotes that we have read or heard that articulated exactly what we needed to think about at that time. The first quote we chose is the one below:

This quote was shared with us after a time where we had been immersed in a learning environment that had been deeply transformative. We were reminded that when we went back to 'the real world', we would see thing differently. The change we experienced could impact the relationships that had seemed so easy and fitting before. It was good preparation and we both go back to it at different times in our lives. If you like that quote, you will love this episode.

We have nine more quotes we love that we share and discuss.

Enjoy and please send us your favourite quotes. Send them by email  or share on Facebook or Instagram.